


Baseball Hernia

by Kameiko



Category: Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Genre: Baseball, Couch Cuddles, Fanart, Fluff, Football | Soccer, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 08:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/pseuds/Kameiko
Summary: Nothing says love like cuddling up on the couch with stale chips, borrowed beer from the vent next door, and your significant boyfriend to watch the best-horrible baseball game of the season!———Nothing says love like sitting on the couch with a perfectly reasonable expiration date bag of chips, non-contraband alcohol from home, and your significant aug to watch the more important soccer game of the season!





	Baseball Hernia

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any franchises, products, and characters mentioned in this story. My work is purely for everybody's enjoyment, and I would like to keep it that way. Having ownership over all this that requires contracts and other lawful fruitfulness is just too much responsibility. I am not ready for that kind of work, nor does my massive paycheck of $0.00 show for it in the world of fanfiction. 
> 
> The author here by thanks you for reading this sappy fanfic and looking at the romantically cute fanart!

This lovely commissioned piece of art work was made by [@SemichanKokonut](https://twitter.com/semichankokonut)! 

Baseball. The one thing Mac never really found to be interesting. Not interesting enough to where Jensen asks him ever-so nicely to wear one of his practice button-up shirt with the _Detroit Tigers_ logo represented on it every time a game comes on, and Mac is forced to watch it. Lucky for him he had another long-sleeve shirt underneath to represent his own team. That team being in the best sport in the world that goes by the name of soccer. Jensen didn’t even have a clue at least that’s what Mac thinks. Adam’s too busy concentrating, with knitted eyebrows, on the television screen wondering probably the same thing he is. Who thinks it’s a good idea to let augmented people play in sports? What does the crowd say in these polls? Who needs polls? Its common sense that augments takes the fun out of the feeling of the hard work and sweat put into the work outs! The sportsmanship! The feeling of winning! Only If Mac can get in a word in to the owner of the Tigers about the lack of ethics in his team he would! Just look at them! All slimmed up with those mechanical legs! All for easy running and sliding! He wouldn’t be surprised if there is some strange mechanical steroid in those legs! If Mac ever becomes owner of a sports team he will ban such monstrosities! No such laziness will be tolerated! No such-

“Are you ok? You look like you went in a tangent inside that head of yours again.”

Mac snaps out of his thoughts to see Adam giving him “the look”. The only look he’s been giving him recently for going temporarily senile. Not out loud of course. He didn’t want to be seen as that stereotypical old person who likes to argue with clouds or tell kids to get off his lawn by shaking his cane at them. He’s not that old. Not yet anyways. And where does Adam have any room to talk? He’s not that much younger than he is! Just by a few years. Mac has that over his head, and he has the fact that he will be able to yell at clouds much sooner than Adam gets to. Adam will be jealous when Mac turns old first.

“You’re showing the look of oldness.” Adam moves his arm a bit on the edge of the couch to properly shift closer to Mac. Knowing when your boyfriend is about to re-enact a scene in his head that might lead to a pseudo-heart attack with angry ticks coming out of his forehead is a key survival tip to spot in a relationship. Adam also likes to point out to never correct your boyfriend on sports trivia if one can help it. The situation can further deepen into the false heart attack state with a trip to the emergency room to be told that his facts about baseball are over presumptuous, and he doesn’t need to purposely put his body in a situation that really is not needed. On the plus side, there might be a funny “this is how I died” tombstone.

Mac looks at his boyfriend before looking back at the television. He appreciates the awareness that Adam lets on. Sometimes he knows he just goes too far; especially, during ridiculous times during the game where there is a runner on second and third that can easily steal bases! The pitcher is looking keen. Too keen! His eyes looking directly at the catcher to see what pitch he needs to throw. Fast ball? Slow ball? Curve ball? Something-Something ball? Whatever it is they need to hurry up before this game cuts into some major soccer watching time! Mac doesn’t have time for that! Now if he ever became a member of this particular baseball team he would be waving his arms from the shortstop position shouting how terrible the catcher’s calls are (even if he doesn’t realize the shortstop is for their team not the catchers)! The pitcher should know the Tiger’s opponents! How many games has he been watching with Adam now? These two teams have faced each other multiple times already this season! This is inexcusable! This is an atrocity! This is-

“Do I need to poke you in the head every time you do this?” Adam goes to poke Mac in the head. He wants to make a point to his boyfriend that he absolutely doesn’t know anything about baseball, and that he needs to sit there and not silently thinking out loud. His face is starting to show the angry veins on his forehead! Someone needs to tell him that is not a good look for his age. He doesn’t even get the chance to poke Mac or tell him about the wrinkles, because he swiftly dodges the first finger attack. This calls for a second try! Adam moves further into Mac’s personal space with two fingers pointing at the victim.  
  
“Don’t you dare!” Mac tries to dodge again. Adam is quick on his feet this time. Quickly grabbing his opponent he traps him in a bear hug, and ends up flicking him in the head for dodging his poking! Mac is not amused. Adam lets the poor guy go afterwards, and they both return to their original positions on the couch. Almost original positions. Adam is back to draping his arm over the couch end, and Mac has developed the new position called: pouting with your arms crossed till your boyfriend apologizes. He might be waiting a while for any sort of remorse remark to spill out of Adam’s mouth. The guy is just not budging nor does he care. To make matters worse then team that Mac is secretly rooting for is playing horribly! They let the runner on third make his way to home plate, the one on second didn’t even move, and the awful batter, that almost struck at a purposely foul ball, managed to get to first! What a shame! If this was him coaching he would have made the pitcher run twenty suicide sprints! No way will anyone on his team ever embarrass him like this! No way-  
  
“You’re thinking out loud again. You’re missing the part where the player in the number 23 jersey threw the ball to third to make sure the player from second doesn’t try to make his way to third base. This forces the players on first and second base to run when the next batter comes up to bat. Chances for a double play here since the enemy team already has one out. This is common sense, Mac.” At least this sounds right to Adam’s ears. To Mac this just sound like advance calculus to the 12th degree of brain hurting. No one said baseball logic talk is easy. Adam just finds it funny that Mac doesn’t understand this simple logic that even a non-sports watcher would understand. Double plays are one of the most common things people remember about baseball besides absurd stadium famous ballpark food. That reminds Adam that when he goes back to Detroit he will need to pick up the _Chips-N-Dip Dog_ or _Brat Pop_ at the local game. Maybe even take Mac with him, so he can complain about how the food is too fatty or something. Note to self: don’t tell him about the _Bacon on a Stick_ food.

“Are you trying to be funny? Let me hear all about your endless knowledge about football, or should I be calling it soccer just to please your ego? No looking up on the internet for answers now.” Mac knows how much time and effort Adam will put into his “research” just to prove a point and show that he actually knows something besides naming the easiest position of them all: the goalie. Now, Mac knows that Adam has been over to his apartment a few times to watch (sleep during) soccer matches with him. He should know a few positions by now! Keyword: should but he doesn’t because sleep is better than soccer. Unlike Mac, Adam has a tendency to nod off during the games he doesn’t like. Claims that they go on “forever” when really 90 minutes is not forever compared to baseball games! There’s even an intermission after 45 minutes for the fans to take their over exaggerated bathroom breaks!

“Does the look on my face show that I am being funny?” A playful jab. A slight smirk shows up on Adam’s face to challenge the “Master of Soccer”. Mac takes the hint.  Scooting up in Adam’s personal space now he gives his cheeky boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. Adam doesn’t seem to budge or even remove that smirk of his. Mac decides to move to the next level of extreme! He places multiple kisses on Adam’s cheek. It works. Adam has gone from a smirk to a legit smile. Time to take it to the next-next level of extreme! Mac wraps his arms around Adam’s neck and makes the kisses last longer with each peck. Adam closes an eye at that, and starts to laugh. It double-works! Mac pulls away satisfied. Screw knowing anything about baseball. If there is anything he knew how to make due in a relationship is kissing. Rather it be _Hershey Kisses_ or real kisses no one can resist the power behind them.  
  
Mac sits up to let Adam rest himself back into his comfortable position. Taking his own arm he draped back behind the couch letting his fingers every now and then tap Adam’s shoulder in rhythm whenever the music in the background of the game starts going off with the typical baseball sounds. Adam doesn’t seem to mind. He changes positions not even a few minutes later. He scoots in and brings his legs up on the couch, so that he has easy access to rest his head against Mac’s heart. Mac looks down at his boyfriend who really looks like he’s about to fall asleep. Sighing Mac moves his arm, and places it around Adam’s shoulders. If he wants to sleep through this lead that Detroit has then that’s on him. He will probably miss the most exciting game of the season! Mac needs to eat those words. Not even an hour later Detroit blew their lead very badly against their opponent. They were up by five by the 7 th inning, but the other team decides to make a comeback by releasing their “best players” which also translates to “people with the fastest steroid-up augmented legs make baseball games go by presumably quicker when up against the worse team in history.” What bad luck that is! Detroit used their trump card of augmented plays way too early in the game! Now they look like laughing stocks! Serves them right! Michigan gets no justice tonight. God knows the state deserved at least one win this season.

More needs to be said when Adam decides to wake up. That and Mac’s stomach is letting out loud wolf growls demanding for food. Slowly moving Adam’s body to the position against the couch he is able to free himself from the sleeping augmented beauty. Quietly moving to the kitchen Mac decides making a light snack would be best.  The soccer match is coming up next and during one of the breaks he can start on dinner. He also needs to be ready to be drunk off the 12 pack of cheap beer Adam says he “bought” from the convenient store. Mac really thinks he went through the vents of his apartment building to “borrow” the beer from his neighbors. Adam did mention about one tenant having cases upon cases of beer littered all over their place. What an alcoholic dreamer’s paradise! For the other person. Not for Adam. Adam has just been given by the grace of God the right to “borrow” all the alcohol he wishes.

Mac does manage to find some chips, _Tostitos Scoops_ to be precise, and mild salsa in the Americanized pantries. Home away from home Mac guesses. Pulling out a party bowl from the lower cabinets is easy when Adam doesn’t have very cooking pans. Adam doesn’t really get around to cooking anyways with his cereal addiction and the love for oranges that’s sprayed all over the kitchen. The sink even stinks of fifteen dirty bowls and with a light scent of orange from the peels! Will be sixteen once they’re done using the salsa tray. Mac will not be the one to clean it! He will make sure of that! For the meantime Mac sets up a plate of chips n’ salsa. Perfect. Going back to the couch he sees that Adam is awake and listening to the post-game talk about how the Tigers losing streak could be on par with the _Cleveland Indians_ multiple final losses in the World Series.  
   
“I bring crisps with salsa and beer, my good lad!” Mac places the offerings down on the table. Returning to his position next to Adam he brings the table closer to them, so they don’t make a mess. Taking a scoop he dips it into the salsa. The juicy non-spicy flavor bringing goodness to his lips and senses till he bites into the chip. It’s stale. Mac groaned out at that and threw the chip back on the plate. Rubbing his tongue with his hand he tries to get the stale prickling feeling off. He glares at Adam for that. What kind of mad man keeps stale chips around? Augmented men named Adam Jensen apparently! At this point Mac will not be surprised if he finds a Jazz playing cockroach band singing some Bayou blues under the darkness of spider webs.  
  
“Sorry. I forgot to change out the chips this month. They’ve been up there slightly opened for a couple of months now.” He says this as if this is not a big deal! It is a big deal! Mac could’ve gone to the emergency room or have a small “all in my head” heart attack again! Taking the remote from Adam he quickly changes the station before any protests are made. Lucky for Mac he only had to scroll up a few stations to get to the soccer game he wants to watch. Not so lucky for Adam who is about to fall asleep again, because he really doesn’t want to watch this soccer match that Mac has been hyping about all week now. At least Adam knows when to shut up about baseball.

Now this is the kind of games Mac enjoys, and he gets to show off his teams proud colors! Adam’s looks be damned! He unbuttons the shirt Adam gave him to wear and throws it on top of the couch not wanting to get his boyfriends clothes dirty. Adam huffs playfully at that. He already knew what outfit Mac had on before he even walked in the door. Being with Mac long enough let Adam explore Mac’s quirks and habits. The man has a habit of showing up in his game time outfits, and every time it’s always the same long sleeve blue shirt. Not that’s ever been a problem for Adam. He loves the spirit his boyfriend has for the team he supports even if Mac doesn’t see Adam’s love for baseball. In the end it’s really nothing to lose sleep over like Mac thinks there is over baseball.

“Am I going to be hearing roaches sing _Kumbaya_ during the game? I really am not up for any praise singing unless it’s about my team kicking the other teams butt!” Mac pops open a beer. The enthusiasm really is going through his blood! He can’t wait! Adam, on the other hand, is still trying to go back to sleep. Hearing the British announcers drone on about the competitiveness going around the European league really is helping him as a lullaby. Leaning his head on his hand he looks down at the table to see a roach has made its way on to the plate of chips, and it’s using it antenna’s to smell the food. Taking a bite, realizing it’s not all that great tasting, it quickly retreats back to where it came from.  
  
Mac ends up laughing at that. Not even a simple house pest wanted to taste Adam’s outdated food., and they really love food! “Either the roach saw you really doesn’t like your food choices, but either way I’ve never seen something move that quickly away from anything!” Too far! Adam gives Mac a playful slap to the chest before returning to his favorite position, after realizing his hand is not a good head rest, of being up in Mac’s personal space. Mac didn’t mind this at all. He even grabs the cover that’s next to him and lays it on top of Adam. This is his peace offering as to no more poking the Adam-Bear for now. Adam is grateful, and even shares a small little piece with him. Mac rolled his eyes, and wrapped his arm around Adam. This is good enough for him. For both of them. Till the game starts.  
  
“Oh come on, ref! That’s foul play and not a fake injury! Why must this particular team always hurts my teams players!?” Mac throws his empty beer can at Adam’s television causing the screen to flicker slightly.  

Maybe not good enough for Adam’s poor television.  


End file.
